Bar-bathroom hookups

Some of us find love at a friend's party. Some of us find love online. Some of us go out drinking and hook up in a bar bathroom with a stranger, and throw up on them. These are (a few of) our stories.

"I was pretty drunk and alone with this guy in the bathroom and I can't recall details but we started hooking up hardcore. Mind you this is a guys' bathroom that has only urinals—no stalls or dividers—so we're completely exposed should anyone walk in. Lo and behold, a girl (!) walks in and we immediately stop what we're doing and apologize for our lewd behavior. She says she doesn't care and proceeds to drop trou, squat in the urinal and take a piss—ha!"
Location: XES Lounge (157 W. 24th St. between Sixth and Seventh Aves., 212-604-0212)
Age: 28

"While drinking with friends, a girl in the group put her hand on my pants and eloquently said, 'Let's screw in the bathroom.' We walked into the women's bathroom and into one of the pub's cramped stalls. Another girl, oblivious and drunk, walked into the women's bathroom (as women are wont to do), sat down in the next stall to urinate. We froze. Mid-pee the girl next to us farted really loudly and while I somehow managed to hold back the laughter my friend did not and, laughing, bit down. I yelled, the peeing girl screamed, and alas we never got to finish our bathroom tryst."
Location: SWIG (1629 Second Ave. near E. 86th St., 212-628-2364)
Age: 27 now, but I was 22 at the time

"I strolled into the bar with the perfect amount of cropped facial hair, a fresh Beckham haircut, very tight black jeans and my signature black cowboy boots. Essentially I looked like a stripper. Which I guess is what many an innocent girl from Connecticut, including one "Jane Smith", were looking for that particular evening. Fifteen minutes and three whiskeys into the night, I caught Ms. Smith's eye and the seduction began. Moments later we locked ourselves in the bathroom. After continuous knocks, repeated leaving-and-returning-again, being kicked out and then topping it off with a lap dance that I gave HER, it was concluded that she was pregnant. She is due in three weeks."
Location: Stone Creek (140 E. 27th St. near Lexington Ave., 212-532-1037)
Age: 26

"My boyfriend and I were at Boat, where I suggested we do it in the bathroom because I'd never done anything like that. So we went into the bathroom, but I almost threw up because it smelled so much like pee. We immediately ran out and never spoke of it again. Not even first base was achieved. Those bathrooms are gross."
Location: Boat (175 Smith St. near Wyckoff St., 718-254-0607)
Age: 24

"After drinking away an afternoon in Prospect Park I found myself with some friends at Great Lakes—taking in the Pavement soundtrack and mainlining well whiskey. Things happen and I find myself making out with a girl. At the bar. The suggestion of leaving for her place is presented, but with a caveat: 'You can take me home, but you HAVE to have brunch with me,' she whispers with complete seriousness, and a hint of anger. 'Promise? Promise!' I feel a deep pinch on my arm. In the bathroom I look at myself in the mirror, wind up and smack my face. Hard. Stumbling out of the bar at a double pace, I avoid eye contact with the girl, who's by then making out with another guy near where I left her. She's sorta fat."
Location: Great Lakes (284 Fifth Ave. at First St., 718-499-3710)
Age: 22 at the time

"I did that once. Actually, it started on a couch at the bar, then we were like, 'Ew, this is gross, we should do this in the bathroom.' More gross. Then I married the guy."
Location: No Malice Palace (197 E. Third St. near Ave. B, 212-254-9184)
Age: 24 then, 31 now

"My really prudish coworker (who I hated so I don't feel bad about sharing this) went to Union Pool with some friends last year after a break-up, got wasted, met someone passable and agreed to hook up with him in the bathroom. And you know how they have like 100 bathrooms there with a bouncer? So to get around the no-two-people-in-a-bathroom rule, they agreed to stagger themselves on line, and she'd just walk into his when her turn came up. Everything was going smoothly until she started to go down on the guy, when she suddenly felt really ill. Next thing, she had thrown up all over him and the bouncer was banging on the door. They barely had time to clean themselves up before he kicked them out. The guy she picked up was actually a friend of mine! He still calls her the 'Union Puker.' True story. Too gross?"
Location: Union Pool (484 Union Ave. near Skillman Ave, 718-609-0484)
Age: 30

And one we don't believe...

"So the other day I went to the Bubble Lounge for lunchtime drinks cause why not, right? Got 2 drunk 2 quickly and started flirting with this guy across the room. We made eyes for a while and then he whispered something to the guy behind the bar, who then pointed toward the bathroom door, so I figured he'd asked the bartender where the best place to ask me to have sex with him was. I downed the rest of my sour apple cosmosa, took an Ambien and went to meet him there. But boy was I embarrassed when a DIFFERENT guy came in to use the bathroom and I had to come up with a quick story about why I was in there... I think I told him I was there to read the meter! He and was in and out in a flash. To avoid another mixup like that, I crawled into the cabinet under the sink where they keep the toilet paper and cleaning supplies to wait for my sexy love partner. I waited a while, then tried to crawl back out, but the cabinet was locked from the outside!! By this time the Ambien was starting to kick in, so I quietly watched a few more men pee, then fell asleep or passed out or whatever.

Anyway, I think that was Friday. I'm still in here, and it'd be really nice if you could call the bar or a cop and tell them to come get me? My iPhone's about to run out of juice, lol, so this is probably the last anyone will hear from me! hahAhaHaha! Also, if you could sign into my Facebook and see if that guy friended me, and then maybe tell him what happened so he doesn't think I was hatin' on him! My email's 2drunk2stop@aol and the password's RAVEN. Thanks again! It's so hard being single lady in the city, lololol!
Location: Bubble Lounge (228 W. Broadway near White St., 212-431-3433)
Age: 25

Photo courtesy wharman and edited by Metromix