Inside: Greenhouse

(Credit: Dan Peterson)

When last we checked in, the inside of this often-discussed yet barely described nightspot was... unusually elusive for us. Fortunately, our luck changed, and we bring you a breakdown of what's up at trendy Soho eco-club Greenhouse:

Digs: The selling points of this club are its “eco-friendly” efforts—embodied most obviously in the use of waterless urinals and plastic flora. As for the bathroom fixtures, they worked fine, although an American urinal without water just looks broken. As for the ivy and moss-like hangings, while visibly fake (it’s unlikely such plants could survive inside a dark nightclub anyway), they do create a uniquely lush and appealing look.

The downstairs room—essentially a long, leafy hall with a bar on one end, a DJ booth on the other and soft benches lining the walls—features an overhead tundra of dangling greenery, like a millionaire mole’s glamorous subterranean pleasure garden. And with the backdrop of red, purple and green pulsing lights, it ends up looking…really cool. Meanwhile, the larger upstairs area (offering a reasonable dancing space as well as several more booths, benches and tables) is walled in blacked-out bamboo siding strewn with the aforementioned faux climbing plants, and the ceiling is icicled by long plastic rods with light-disseminating crystalline balls at their tips. (Sort of like the bad lady’s lair in "Batman and Robin.") It's a singular look—almost gothic—and, combined with the art-store vegetation filling the glass-box tables, it gives the effect of clubbing in the Nocturnal Creatures section of the Bronx Zoo.

Crowd: It’s as if the promoters sent buses to the Meatpacking District and West Chelsea, as the line is equal parts kids wearing sideways hats and people speaking French. In the end, however, whether there’s a door cover or not doesn’t matter because…

DOORMEN ALERT: …the hands-down rudest doormen in the five boroughs stop everyone to ask how many bottles they’ll be buying. “None,” you say? Have a good night. Non-bottle-buying potential patrons are talked down to and quickly dismissed when they refuse to reserve a table—even after waiting in line for an hour. However, a good number of limos do pull up to expel individuals of apparent priceless social worth who breeze easily into the club (no positive IDs were made, but one gentlemen bore a striking resemblance to rapper Chingy, while another could have passed for San Francisco pitcher Tim Lincecum). And while the dress code seems to bend with table purchasing, most patrons are wearing smart casual clothing, accentuated with (on guys) vests, scarves and super-crisp sneaks.

Music: Downstairs the sound is all dirty, sexy house, but upstairs the straight-up dance beats give way to everything from hip-hop to electro, reggae and old school—even a mysterious Tone Loc track (really). And, unlike many of the newer hangs around town, there is that feasible dancing space—not really enough to dance battle per se, but more than plenty to get your grind on.

Service: As mentioned earlier, you probably won’t make it in if you don’t reserve a multi-bottled table. (Note: The glass tables are shin-high and all have painfully sharp corners, so navigate wisely or sacrifice your lower legs.) And those bottles ain’t cheap, as the vodka runs between $450 and $900, and the whiskey is generally $400 to $500. For the big spenders: Grab a six-liter bot’ of Perrier Jouet Fleur for a mere $27.5K, or raid your pension plan to purchase a certain bottle of Dom Perignon (three liters, in white gold) for 35 grand. Even the low-end isn’t all that low, as you’ll still need to pony $450 for Tequila Cazadores and a cool $1K for that magnum of Johnny Walker Blue Label.

Drinks: A 360 Vodka martini (full disclosure: their PR team helped with the door) cost a Manhattan-average $15, but the bartenders (who are particularly pleasant and helpful) make them right. The beer also goes for the usual NYC rates, with a cold Peroni priced at $8.

The bottom line: If the door staff can lay off their “buy or die” standards, this unique and dark yet vibrant venue could easily establish itself as a popular stop for those who revel in the mega-club scene.

Net results: what folks are saying online...

[CitySearch]: "Five thousand crystals dangle from the ceiling, while lush natural scenes peek out from the recycled glass bars. Bamboo floors and leafy wall coverings complete the heady look, giving Greenhouse an almost trippy 'Alice in Wonderland' vibe."

[Yelp]: "The crowd I would say is hipster meets hiphop with a splash of rock—it's kind of mixed and all over—but not too euro or  bridge and tunnel either."

[UrbanDaddy]: "Greenhouse is a nightclub first, environmental savior second. Sure, there are bamboo walls, eco-friendly banquettes, waterless urinals, Brad Pitt-endorsed Kiehl's products in the bathroom and the whole place is 'LEED-registered', but you'll be a bit more preoccupied with the more literal greenness…"


Greenhouse
150 Varick St., at Vandam St.
212-807-7000