Sports bars are a tricky concept. On one hand they're essential—community halls where like-minded fans commiserate when the field goal strays wide right. On the other, they're breeding grounds for too much testosterone, bad food and worse atmosphere. Unfortunately, the latest effort from The Paige Restaurant Group (Dune Southampton, Honey, and formerly, Dip) leans toward the latter, taking everything conceptually unappealing about a sports bar and charging more for it—and, in the process, propagating Murray Hill's tradition of bland, cheesy drinkeries. Still, The Hill has one thing going for it: despite bloggy rumoring, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's of MTV's "The Hills" are apparently not involved in the project.
The Hill, billed as an "upscale sports lounge," is one part Hooters, one part frat party and one part antiseptic airport bar—but without "airplane drunk" to look forward to. On the weekends it's best not to make a reservation at The Hill—because then you can go somewhere else when the hostess turns you away. Those unfortunate enough to have planned ahead are greeted by a spacious downstairs lined with modern wood paneling and a Best Buy's worth of flatscreens. On game days the long bar and ugly brown booths are crammed with 20-something alumni, congregated based on jersey color and the logos on their beer-stained ball caps. Things get really nasty upstairs, where brown wall-to-wall carpeting, beige wallpaper and a small bar top do their best to mimic a Comfort Inn reception desk. We repeat, wall-to-wall carpeting. In a bar!
Drinks: At The Hill, "upscale" refers to charging a lot for the same drinks available everywhere. The mostly generic draughts (Bud Light, Yuengling, Sam Adams, Hoegaarden) run $6 while pitchers range from $17 to $23. Eventually the bar may offer regional beer brands enjoyed by specific colleges, which would actually be a unique and interesting concept...so please implement soon! A list of $12 specialty cocktails seems like a stereotyped appeasement for the girlfriends—avoid the sickeningly sweet Apple Mojito and the bright pink Huckleberry Lemonade—and most taste like dissolved Jolly Ranchers mixed with various flavors of Kool-Aid.
Food: Classic sports bar all the way, just more expensive: mozzarella sticks for $10, chicken fingers and potato skins for $12, and—again redefining "upscale"—$8 tater tots. There's also cheese and chocolate fondue leftover from the bar's previous life as Dip.
Service: The scantily clad bar-backs and waitresses are surprisingly attentive, all sporting black short-shorts, knee socks and lots of cleavage.
Crowd/vibe: It's best to go with a large group of friends from the same alma mater. Otherwise prepare to get out-yelled by groups of drunken post-college dudes.
Music: Touchdown-triggered chants (provided by the drunken post-college dudes).
Bottom line: Watch the game at home.
Net results: what folks are saying online:
[Thrillist]: "Beyond typical domestics/imports, the owners promise they'll offer the specific brands drank by collegiate fans when celebrating their team (so...Natty Light for everyone)."
[Yelp]: "The old Dip really did ‘dip' in everything (except prices) from service to mediocre food."
[More Yelp]: "$10 for the most inedible bar food I've ever seen."
[Citysearch]: "A bi-level sports bar catering to college types and college sports fans"
The Hill
413 Third Ave, at 29th St.
212-481-1712
Photo by Jori Klein
