Aight: Detroit – stand up.
It has been nothing short of a truly historic week in the Motor City. And, despite the glorious opportunity to pen comedy on potential going-away party places (with utterly outrageous) themes, future jobs available for a fallen leader or what life might be like in the big house for the big man, “Metromix Your Weekend” has mixed emotions after contemplating the headlines this past work week and the current state of our beloved city (my HOME). Regardless, this here scribe is still extremely hopeful of its future (particularly the social prospects of the upcoming weekend, but first: my interpretation of the situation).
Some might already be popping bottles while others might truly be upset by the way this all played out –- and regardless of whether you’re white, black or green, republican or democrat, a Stepford suburbanite who looks down at those south of 8 Mile or a proud Motor City playa who never makes it to the lush strip-mall setting surrounding the gritty concrete jungle -- it is time for all of us to look at each other in a new light and, more importantly, actually treat each other differently.
Diversity is what makes Detroit special. Battling through adversity is what has provided us that endless determination so common in our unique yet shared Detroit spirit. Naw, we don’t stop – we don’t quit.
While it might be easiest to point your finger and just laugh about all this, there is a larger issue here and a much greater challenge that lies ahead: How are YOU gonna help make our home a better place? G’head, marinate on that for a minute…
Me, I am gonna crack some jokes about the events going down this weekend, maybe make a comment about a hot model I wish would talk to me…But what I wanna do is actually bring all sorts of different kinds of people together in a setting that is going to be spiritually (and possibly physically) uplifting (wink). So we can learn from each other (preferably nekkid). So we can grow together (baby-making) to help make our city, our home a better place (did I write nekkid yet?).
Certainly you can continue on slumping through your 9-5 – go ahead, it’s quite alright to roll your eyes. But promise to do one other thing: Open those eyes.
That said, let’s party suckas.
Friday, Sept. 5
Bloc Party
What: Just dropping its latest "Intimicacy," the British group that blends curious heartbreak lyrics with electronic dance-floor sound-scapes and driving rock rhythms are touring this side of the pond promoting its third studio release.
Why: Last time, or I think it was the last time they played the Royal Oak Music Theatre, the lead singer was suffering from a bug and had to cut the set short. So, hopefully, he’ll remember and pay back the true fans with a play back that is full of energy and passion.
Enjoy “A Weekend in the City” here.
Corona Beach Party
What: The end of summer fun continues on, and this sexy soiree has three of my most favorite words: Corona – bikini – models. Put all three of those words together and you have “Coronabikinimodels.” Wait, I mean put all three of those words together and there’s one sizzling yet refreshingly international beach party. Just watch which body parts the sand falls into.
Why: Drink specials include $2 Coronas…But the dollar-saving deals are secondary compared to models…in bikinis. That means fewer clothes to try and take off later – that is if you’re into that sort of thing. Which, certainly, I would not recommend. Marriage first. Just like they teach in Alaska.
Add lime right here.
Saturday, Sept. 6
Spartan Football (vs. Eastern Michigan)
What: The green and whites collide as the Hurons, err, the Eagles of Ypsilanti’s Eastern Michigan travel far and wide to East Lansing to take on the mighty Michigan State Spartans. Go teams!
Why: The drunken coeds of course.
Score sex points – typo! (My bad; stupid freaking typewriters) -- score six points here.
Dally in the Ally
What: The 31st year of the street fair that supports residents and workers in the Cass Corridor ‘hood is back and is armed with a serious lineup of great musical talent (Malik Alston, Champions of Breakfast, Our Brother the Megazord, more). Plus, there’s no other festival in the D that has this much personality.
Why: Definitely the hip-hop showcase that will feature my mans Phat Kat, Slum Village, Guilty Simpson, Nick Speed and mo…
Yussir, support that real Detroit Cass Corridor ish hurre.
Dirty Filthy Sexy
What: The appropriately named (for this scandalous column, anyway) monthly electronic dance party is housed at the grand-daddy techno venue in the city (Bleu) and that means party time, excellent.
Why: Besides the progressive beats of the headlining DJ Anthony Attalla, one bangin’ Miss Detroit and her lovely dancing machine partners will be sweating it up all night long. And that, my friends, is one very good reason to be thurre. So sincurre.
Shake that, shake that ____ here.
3rd Annual Backpack Drive Fund-raiser
What: Belleville Three legendary spin-master Derrick May is the star attraction at this Eastern Market affair inside the Johanson Charles Gallery.
Why: The electronic music is definitely the highlight, but the fund-raiser is all about giving back to local students in Detroit schools. Beats for kids is a no brainer. Do it.
Pack it up, pack it in -- let the students begin (here).
Sunday, Sept. 7
NFL Sunday
What: Finally – it’s football Sunday. That means beer drinking, fantasy football frenzy, Lions excitement and so much more pad-popping, helmet-crashing gridiron action.
Why: Detroit Lions’ foooooooootball. And all those other teams, too. In particular, let’s see big days from LT, Drew Brees, Jason Witten, the Pats defense and all of the rest of the fantasy players on the Durrty Districteers. You bringing it home this year, Hammer. Awww yeah.
Make a play here.
Monday, Sept. 8
Monday Night Football
What: Two teams go head to head on the big Monday ESPN-travaganza, but the game is sort of a distraction as the real-time action inside the Penthouse Club doesn’t come with instant replays. Hot damn, ya’ll! Some of the city’s best promoters and DJs are joining forces for a promotion that is sure to get a rise out of football fans, red-blooded Americans and all you horn-dogs just lookin’ for a chance to go deep.
Why: Let’s skip the why and instead use this (cyber) space to talk XXXs and Os. Be careful: One song means two songs (that a lotta money, son) and Mercedes isn’t really all that interested in what’s in your pocket – except for that roll.
Snap that ball here.
The Metromix Hammer is obviously disturbed. Email treatment options to bjhammerstein@metromix.com
What other people are saying...
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Tracey from detroit - August 29, 2008 at 7:35 PM
I <3 mmx.
Report This CommentBobby James from Sherwood Forest - August 22, 2008 at 8:16 PM
If "Drew" was REALLY hardcore, he was at the unofficial NIN/Hole after-party at Club Hell on the corner of 7 Mi and Woodward. Trent and Courtney we...
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Report This Commentizzykitty23 from livonia - August 22, 2008 at 1:24 PM
do you have any backstage passes for the nin concert? rachel
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