Max Gross' new book, "From Schlub to Stud: How to Embrace Your Inner Mensch and Conquer the Big City," is a geek-genre memoir, the tale a New York City kid growing up heavy-set, Dartmouth-educated and klutzy, who then enters the real world only to find not all of those traits set him up for lifelong success.
While his bushy Jewfro may be out of Gross' control (his mother begs him to use more product), this is the story of someone learning that schlubbiness is something to be celebrated, that geeks can—and do—get the girl. Inspired by America's most famous schlub (Seth Rogen), Gross' riotous recollection covers horrible breakups, bedbugs, a hellacious IRS audit, a pair of nagging but loving parents, and how even a slob, over time, can transform himself into a total stud.
On the cover there's a very pretty blonde with her arms around you. Is that your girlfriend?
Actually, she's the granddaughter of a friend of my dad's. It was very funny because I was dating somebody when I was writing the book, and up until a month or two ago, she was very upset with the idea that she wasn't appearing on the cover with me. She isn't blonde, though, and we really wanted a girl who was blonde, who sort of looks shiksa. Whereas the girl I dated, while a genuine shiksa, doesn't look like one.
What made you write the book?
I had written this story for the New York Post last year, when the movie "Knocked Up" came out, in which I basically said that Seth Rogen is going to improve Max Gross' sex life. So I went to Bryant Park and I went up to attractive women and asked if they'd seen the movie and what they thought of Seth Rogen. If they said they saw it and liked him, I asked them, "Well, would you date him?" If they said yes, I'd show them a picture of him next to me and I'd say, "Well, what about me?"
How did that go?
It went fairly well. Most people were fairly amused. I definitely got some puzzled looks from a couple of people, but I also did something smart: I went with a very, very attractive female photographer. So it was "at least this guy doesn't seem to be too much of a freak." Then I got a call from this publisher saying, "How would you like to do 'The Schlub's Guide to Life?'" I had always wanted to expand upon the Hapless Jewish Writer column that I used to write for the "Jewish Forward" when I worked there, so I thought maybe this is a good opportunity to do that. Now that I've got a book out, it should make me more of an attractive prospect. It's good to tell women you're a writer. She'll say "What do you write?" and I'll say, "Well, I'm a staff writer at the New York Post, but...I've got a book out." That's kind of cool.
It's never a sad-sack book.
Writing it, that was a worry of mine. I didn't want to make it, like, self-pitying or anything. You have to like somebody's narrative: I wanted to paint myself as a schlub, but not too much. I wrote a story recently on how this is actually a schlub golden age—look at big movies like Batman or comic books. Who bought and sustained comic books for decades? It wasn't the jocks; it was the schlubs. Or look at "Step Brothers": two middle-aged men living at home with their parents. Seth Rogen's got a new movie out, Jack Black has a new movie out...
You write a lot about Rogen as an inspiration. He knows about the book?
He does! To his people I'm like, "Hey, why don't you come to my book party?" We'll see.
Who's idea was the sidebars at the end of each chapter-the Q&As and the factoids about all things schlubby?
Mine. When I was first talking with the publisher, they wanted the whole thing to be that, like a joke book. And I said no, I think I should do a narrative and then I can work the jokes in.
Are there chapters that didn't make it in the book-material for a sequel?
There weren't any chapters missing but there was one I was asked to add-about my parents. They said readers are really going to want some schlub genealogy.
Photo of Max Gross courtesy of Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.
