'Saw 3D' review

Linkin Park singer Chester Bennington is one of the victims in 'Saw 3D.' (Credit: Brooke Palmer/Lionsgate)

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Ever since the death of Jigsaw (Tobin Bell), Detective Hoffman (Costas Mandylor) has been carrying on the notorious killer’s reign of terror. Jigsaw’s widow, Jill (Betsy Russell), tried to end it by springing one of the traps on Hoffman himself. That backfired, and she’s forced to seek protection from Internal Affairs officer Gibson (Chad Donella). Meanwhile, Jigsaw “survivor” Bobby Dagen (Sean Patrick Flanery) is about to become the latest target in Hoffman’s elaborate game.

The buzz: Our national nightmare finally comes to an end. After seven straight years of Halloween-timed “Saw” releases, “Saw 3D” promises to bring the series to a close. And not a moment too soon, since “Saw VI” was dwarfed at the box office last year by the newest horror sensation, “Paranormal Activity.” Pity poor “Saw 3D” director Kevin Greutert. He was expected to move from directing “Saw VI” to “Paranormal Activity 2,” but got forced back into the “Saw” world by a contractual clause.

The verdict: Nothing to mourn, nothing to celebrate. “Saw” goes down in history as the most unnecessarily convoluted horror franchise of all time, and that’s the nicest thing you can say about it. Just like its six predecessors, “Saw 3D” combines flashbacks, plot holes and not-so-surprising surprise twists with stomach-churning kill scenes flimsily staged as mini-morality plays. Faces are smashed, necks are snapped, eyeballs are gouged; only this time in proficiently rendered 3D, so the blood squirts into the audience! Original “Saw” star Cary Elwes makes a slightly embarrassed return to ensure the series gets the utterly obvious and nonsensical ending it deserves. Horror has already moved on. “Paranormal Activity” is cashing in by breaking the genre mold, while summer’s “Piranha 3D” made splatter trash fun. “Saw 3D” just wallows in the cinematic junk heap. Good riddance.

Did you know? Sure, being one of Jigsaw’s victims sounds like a bad thing, but as “Saw VI” survivor Simone (Tanedra Howard) helpfully explains, at least it gets you handicap parking at the mall.

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