Great 'Simpsons' quotes

Homer

[Quotes compiled by Kirk Miller, Metromix Staff]

"Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems."

"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel."

"Kids, you tried your best and you failed. The lesson is, never try."

"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"

"Oh! Look at me! I m making people happy! I m the magical man from Happy Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! [pause] Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic."