Geoff's worst movies of 2008

An alleged comedy about three high school friends looking for wild times on a weekend trip to a local college. More sadistic than “Saw.” Less amusing than “There Will Be Blood.” If there was a more creatively, morally and comedically bankrupt movie this year, I’m glad I missed it.

His name is synonymous with terrible filmmaking, for good reason. Yet Boll found a whole new way to suck this year with a dopey gross-out comedy that inexplicably includes Osama bin Laden and George W. Bush as supporting characters. It’s like something John Waters would make if he suddenly lost 50 IQ points.

Anyone hoping the screenwriter and star of the great ‘80s high school comedy “Heathers” could recapture the same magic nearly 20 years later must have been dreadfully disappointed by this shoddy sex comedy. Assuming, that is, they even knew it existed.

Sure, Cook has been annoying audiences for years now, but I’d never suffered through one of his noxious star turns until this embarrassment. Even worse was seeing Cook’s perfectly charming co-star Kate Hudson sink to his level. (Runner-up: Mike Myers, giving bathroom humor a bad name in “The Love Guru.”)

Writer-director-producer-star Larry Bishop has a powerful pal in QT. So powerful that Bishop got to live out his fantasies as a badass biker/irresistible babe magnet for 84 minutes of incoherent screen time and have it distributed to theaters nationwide by The Weinstein Company.

An earnest, cute-as-a-button, bipartisan sermon about how Every Vote Matters, with a screenplay so clueless it winds up endorsing voter fraud. And conspiracy to cover up voter fraud. Audiences wisely declared “Yes We Can see superficial sequels like ‘The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor’ and ‘Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2’ instead.” (Runner-up: John Cusack’s disastrous attempt at satire, “War, Inc.”)

So this creepy, clearly nutty filmmaker with a resume that includes UFO and conspiracy docs decides he’s going to put himself on camera and get to the bottom of the kind of stuff that seemed laughable in “The Da Vinci Code.” For reals. The result was almost as credible as Paris Hilton’s singing career. (Runner-up: Morgan Spurlock’s exercise in narcissism, “Where in the World is Osama bin Laden?”)

Great art can be challenging and discomforting, but just because a movie is challenging and discomforting doesn’t make it great art. Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo, Gael García Bernal, Danny Glover and others go completely to waste in a soft-headed fable of a movie that’s a challenge in the worst way: a challenge to watch.

Every cop action drama ever made was thrown into blender and set to pulverize for this inane, cliché-ridden trashfest with a cast as unbelievable as the movie itself: Keanu Reeves, Forest Whitaker, Hugh Laurie, Jay Mohr, Cedric the Entertainer, Chris Evans, Common and The Game. If a SAG strike would stop something like this from happening again, bring it on.

There was a lot wrong with M. Night Shyamalan’s latest thriller misfire. Mark Wahlberg talking to plants. People running in terror from the wind. Zooey Deschanel’s secret involving tiramisu. But nothing was more disheartening than Shyamalan utilizing his first R-rating so poorly. He really couldn’t think of anything to top death by lawnmower?