Aging disgracefully

Gene Simmons

The rise: When he donned the KISS makeup and strapped on the demon suit, there was no bigger badass in '70s arena rock than blood-spitting bassist Gene Simmons.

The fall: These days, with his jowly features and helmet hair, Simmons is starting to resemble our least favorite aunt—the one who always asks if we're getting enough fiber. Yes, we're eating our Wheaties, Aunt Gene!