Brooklyn Web developer Matt Jacobs doesn’t swish wine for hints of tar or debate the flavor profile of Joël Robuchon's eel–and–foie-gras terrine. But his palate is world-class, awarding him a captive blog audience and national TV appearances to discuss the finer points of the…burger. We took Jacobs to the recently opened Five Guys branch in Brooklyn Heights and asked him to break it down according to his five key characteristics of a burger joint.    
 
The Gimmick
“Janie and Jerry Murrell, and their five sons, opened Five Guys in the D.C. Metro area in 1986 and today have a couple hundred locations across the Northeast. Despite focusing on the East Coast, their burgers are decidedly West Coast, similar to the ever-popular In-N-Out Burger. They're also sporting a bare-bones menu, only offering burgers (little hamburgers have one patty, regulars have two), hot dogs and fries. Five Guys also takes great pride in the quality of their ingredients, displaying the origin of their beef and potatoes."

The Meat
“We'll start with the brass tacks, the burger's heart and soul—its ground beef. At Five Guys, they grind and hand-pack the meat every morning, guaranteeing a fresh patty. Unfortunately, they will only serve their burgers well-done, which is fantastic if you’re a fan of eating hockey pucks. While Five Guys locations in College Point, Queens, and Philly have defied the odds, burgers at the Brooklyn Heights location were both tough and dry. All is not lost though, as the location is new and a burger is more than just meat."

The Condiments
“Five Guys' commitment to freshness comes out in the burger's toppings. The pickles are delicious, the onions are crisp, and the lettuce magically defies limpness (quite a feat for fast food). There are fifteen toppings to choose from, all free except for the cheese. My recommendation? Cheese, raw onion, lettuce, pickles and ketchup. You'll thank me.”

The Bun
“The bun is an oft-overlooked aspect of a good burger. It should be soft but stay together; absorbent but not soggy; and squishable, so you don't have to unhinge your jaw. Five Guys hits it on the head with a delicious potato bun that keeps everything where it should be—in your mouth.”

The Side Notes
"While burgers are my true love, I always keep my eye out for some action on the side. The fries here, which are delivered overflowing from their styrofoam cup, are cooked to a dark brown in peanut oil and make me swoon. They're thicker cut than most fast-food places, but aren't the slightest bit soggy. Unlike these golden beauties, the hot dogs were a disappointment. They lacked any real flavor, despite being cooked nicely."

Verdict
“Is Five Guys worth the trip? Definitely. It's certainly not the best in the city—I’ll go with Shake Shack for that—but the burgers are kind to your taste buds and your wallet. Once the Heights location gets the burgers nice and juicy, I'll be making plenty of return visits.”