Banh mi ban!

Sloppy Joe | Danku

This wholesome fast-food chain straight from Antwerp has yet to win over midtowners with its trademark fried krokets. Curiosity seekers should ferret out the Indonesian gems on the menu (the Southeast Asian country was a Dutch colony until the 1940s), where you’ll find the bizarrely cross-cultural sloppy joe hiding in the sandwich section.

More boywich than manwich, the petite item is served in a biodegradable cardboard container with a pickle spear. The beef, instead of being ground, is shredded, and it's barely detectable amid a sea of mahogany tangy-sweet sauce flecked with bits of red chile and crispy shallots for a little texture and flavor. ($5)

Suitable sub? 1 star. Despite the cheap thrill of foreign fast food and the colorful graphics and noble commitment to organics and sustainability, this sacrilege on a bun dredges up grade-school cafeteria nightmares.

Danku (45 W. 57th St. between Fifth and Sixth Aves., 212-888-3777)