Go! Go! Curry Eating Championship

Competitor No. 1: Donald Lerman

Hero Miyamori thinks big: The CEO of Go! Go! Curry plans to open 555 branches of his restaurant in 55 countries (“go” in Japanese means five). For one day, though, the center of his empire-in-training was his kitschy space near Times Square, where spectactors cheered its first annual curry-eating championship. Much of the crowd rooted for Don Moses Lerman, a vet of both the marine corps and competitive eating (matzoh balls, baked beans and butter—Paula Deen would kvell, y’all). He’s a six-time Nathan’s finalist as well.

Still, Lerman and his ex-pro opponents—Paul Arcaria, Dale Boone, Joseph Menchetti, Masato Tomita—seemed unperturbed, glowering at the crowd like UFC champs. The rules for the 15-minute contest were simple: only a forkful could remain in a bowl before the next could be scarfed. Bonnie Urban, Lerman’s sister, led the cheering, though cute family dog Toodles threatened to upstage the show.

Menchetti won, eating 26 bowls to Boone’s 25; Lerman came in third with 23. Arcaria, meanwhile, demonstrated the downside of the Tortoise Strategy by eating nothing for a full eight minutes. “You’re number one in our hearts, Don!” yelled one Lerman yahoo before Menchetti claimed his prize: a $500 American Express gift certificate and $55 in Go! Go! meal tickets. “I’m so full, I’m not sure I can talk,” said Menchetti before lauding Miyamori’s generosity. As if he needed to curry favor. —Leonard Jacobs